Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
