It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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