I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
