Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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