we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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