id be glad to
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
