why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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