STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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