Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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