getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
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We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
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Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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