I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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