Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
