When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
