so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
