its not stalking. its research.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
