Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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