ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
