she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
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