if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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