so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
