He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We need a shit load of segways right now
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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