A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
