Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
