We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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