im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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