Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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