No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
