in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
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No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
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its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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