I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
