FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
