im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
