oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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