You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
