Having a random hookup so left but love u
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the knife in your bed.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize