dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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