TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
