Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
