Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize