Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
