high people should be assigned attendants
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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