I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
