I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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