you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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