My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
