he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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