I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
40s are totally the cure
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
