WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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