God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
