So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
