Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
someone owes me an orgasm
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
