is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
