I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
