i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
