are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
