i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
