even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
