whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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