Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
