you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
