Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
