He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
