My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
