in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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